During the process of coming up with my word for 2020, I toyed with the idea of having two. An inner word, like alignment as in making decisions and choices that are in alignment with purpose… And an outer word, like visibility as in meeting more people and putting myself in experiences that will help elevate my relationships and work. A dear friend and I were discussing what our words might be; she said something to the effect that she wants to not isolate, to be out more with people. She suggested Connect or Connection as her word. I said, "Great word. Maybe it's my word too." I laughed, because, of course, it is. Connect is all things inner and outer! We connect. It’s what we do. Until we don’t. Several months ago I hit a wall of overwhelm. I didn’t know what was wrong. I felt cloudy and unfocused.... Read more →

Sometimes we need a little reminder. And, then other times we need more than that. We need a meaningful punch to snap out of it. To snap back to paying attention, paying attention to ourselves. I was fretting over a couple of situations recently where I had myself in knots about what to do, what to say, how to be. Enough so that it took a meaningful punch from a good friend, who said, "This is not your responsibility. You're acting like it is." And, when I say meaningful punch, I mean it's a welcome jolt of reality, something I often count on from this friend. It got me thinking about how subtle it is sometimes, the ways in which we can take on too much, diminish our sense of personal power, our self-worth. And, it can build until the little forms of self-betrayal become a way of being. It... Read more →

"Reading your own bio is more painful than looking at current photos." I've been helping a friend update his bio. Several days after sending him the first draft, his response email came and literally made me laugh out loud. "I am learning that reading your own bio is more painful than looking at current photos." I laughed because I related so much to the raw truth of his statement. My friend's career has taken a huge uplevel that puts him in the very top echelon in his field. And, while his ascent has been organic and based on decades of study, practice and proven success, the latest leap is the stuff of dreams personified. Thus, the need for a new bio. It got me thinking about how sometimes there are those comfortable parts of ourselves - as in the parts that fit-like-an-old-shoe - that aren't quite ready for the big... Read more →

It might not be what you think. DIANE LOCKHART: I’m happy. KURT MCVEIGH: You like narrating your life. ~ CBS’s THE GOOD FIGHT. I thought, ah, there's so much truth to that. We're always narrating our own lives, sometimes dictating, sometimes cheering, sometimes judging. It got me thinking about that most important conversation. The most vital chat being, to my way of thinking, our inner dialogue, the constant conversation we're having with ourselves. On the full moon this weekend some friends were texting about what we each wanted to release and let go of. It can be kind of powerful to do that as one moon cycle ends and another begins. No matter the woo, it's always something good to ponder and can lead to change. I said I want to let go of the attachment to the negative voices in my head. The naysayers in my internal conversation, the... Read more →

One thing I've been noticing as I've been out and about, an uptick if you will: People are kinder. And, interestingly I'm not the only one in my circle noticing this. More than a few have mentioned it in some form as well. This, while so much divisiveness permeates the air around us. A swell is taking place. A swell of kindness. A kind word in the elevator. People taking their time to lend a hand. Or, waiting patiently in line while encouraging someone else to go first, whether it's at a restaurant or in traffic. And, it's not just words, but kinder expressions, kinder eyes. Simple smiles. There's a subtle, larger effort being expressed. A yearning for a gentler nature being embodied. Whatever it's been, it's been palpable. Have you noticed it? And, #KindnessMatters. In fact, if you Google that particular hashtag, #KindnessMatters, there's a lovely slew of initiatives... Read more →

There's quite a bit that goes into choosing a word for the year. Inspiration, feeling the need to improve on something or selecting a greater theme that will help to powerfully guide the next twelve months, are all factors that weigh in while narrowing down the word. I find it enthralling, particularly since it becomes a writing guidepost as well. My word for 2019: Mindfulness I tossed around several words, and what I found is that underneath each of the intentional words I was drawn to, was the running current of mindfulness. In other words to successfully embody anything empowering, one must be mindful to attain it. Mindfulness is a word that is loaded and is bandied about a lot. So, let's unpack it. Often, for me, being mindful is what I think of after I do something that is usually a result of not being mindful. Such as when... Read more →

In a recent discussion with a group of seekers, we were talking about a new thought concept, a mindset shift. It was a challenge for some of us. I said it's an experiment, just try it on for size, see how it fits. It got me thinking about how life is really made up of a series of experiments. When you think about it, life is a laboratory. A laboratory is the place where the scientist explores, experiments, gets messy, fails, tries again and then reorganizes and experiments again. Life is the open space, the playground, the highway, the laboratory when we experiment within our human experience. We're always experimenting, as our own life scientist, trying things on to see if they fit. Whether it's a new shampoo or sweater, or a different car make, or a different route to work, or a fresh perspective, or a different part of... Read more →

Recently, around the US Independence Day, I got into a discussion with a friend about the problematic divisiveness that permeates the world right now. And, we agreed that so much of what drives the discord comes down to this: Labels Labels are what define a thing, or a person, or a group of people. It literally means to “identify” or to attach a meaning. A label is a “descriptive phrase or word” placed onto something. But, when a label becomes de-meaning is when assumptions are made and rash categorical biases are formed against an entire group of people. Based on the label. We walk around all day long putting labels on people, based on religion, political party, sexual orientation, male/female sex, socioeconomic status, body size, education, illness, profession, credit rating, etc. Most often, it’s by way of fleeting thoughts, but more and more in this socially brash society, it’s become... Read more →

I overheard a woman the other day in the elevator. Well, didn’t exactly overhear, it was a confined space and she was speaking loudly. She expressed how exhausted she was and that she needed to regenerate. She must have used the word regenerate ten times. I felt her and at some level, I could relate. As did the other nodding heads in the elevator who gave credence to it. It became the common denominator during our 19-floor journey together. I love a good “Re” word. Case in point, there are 26 of them in this piece. It got me thinking about the impact of a good Re. It can be powerful and allows you to live your life rather than your life living you. It’s taking charge of your life. The power of the Re is that it places new energy in a new way toward, well, toward anything. Here... Read more →

Photo by Felix Russell-Saw She had bright orange hair that kinked around the nape of her neck. She wore a black lace miniskirt, black tights and combat boots. With a smile that lit up the room and a hyena giggle that pierced it. She greeted everyone by name and with interest. She’s my favorite Coffee Bean barrister and on that day, when I was still sitting on the edges of victimhood after my computer was stolen, she woke me up and got me present. As I watched her interact with a woman, going beyond your basic barrister and customer moment, I was surprised as I got tears in my eyes. I was suddenly really emotional. It continued throughout the morning. But, what I realized is that they weren’t tears of sadness or loss. I had certainly shed several tears bearing those descriptions. No, these were tears of gratitude. And, hope.... Read more →