It might not be what you think.
DIANE LOCKHART: I’m happy.
KURT MCVEIGH: You like narrating your life.
~ CBS’s THE GOOD FIGHT.
I thought, ah, there's so much truth to that. We're always narrating our own lives, sometimes dictating, sometimes cheering, sometimes judging. It got me thinking about that most important conversation.
The most vital chat being, to my way of thinking, our inner dialogue, the constant conversation we're having with ourselves.
On the full moon this weekend some friends were texting about what we each wanted to release and let go of. It can be kind of powerful to do that as one moon cycle ends and another begins. No matter the woo, it's always something good to ponder and can lead to change.
I said I want to let go of the attachment to the negative voices in my head. The naysayers in my internal conversation, the one who says all of those things that spark insecurities or fear. The voice that likes to keep us in check, that says we're not good enough - whatever not good enough looks like.
So that the "I'm happy" conversation starter is met with, you should be. And, me too. And, I'd like more of that please.
Or the first internal voice that says, "This is what I desire and I'm going for it," is met with, "Great what's the next step?" Rather than, "Yeah, that's not gonna happen. Again." Or "You're a dreamer."
Here's the deal. Since you are the one on both sides of that conversation you get to write, or rewrite, the dialogue. How cool is that?
Safire Rose in her moving poem "She Let Go" wrote "she let go of the committee of indecision within her." I love that.
It's so true, sometimes those voices can feel like a committee whose vote is louder and counts for more than your first true voice, the one being told to hush and to stop. That's when, along with letting go of the glue-like attachment you may have to this committee that's likely been in place for years, you can rewrite the committee's agenda. Or, better yet, do away with the agenda altogether and assign a higher purpose and vocabulary to your this-is-my-life-so-I-get-to-write-the-script committee.
And, since they are voices that have most likely been around a long time, you can be gentle but firm. Listen, but not judge. Learn and reframe. Re-engage and choose the inner conversation you wish to have.
Kind of gives pillow talk and coffee chat a whole new meaning, don't you think?